Crack oneshots
by Alchemyhearts
Summary: Just a few canon oneshots. Mostly shounen-ai. All crack, with occasional mushyness. Expect lots of 6927, 5980, D18, and more xD
1. Contacts

I do not own Reborn. Or the other characters. Those rights belong to Amano Akira-San. This is pure crack, and will most likely be made into a series of one shots ;P possible ooc-ness, but I hope not :)

enjoy :D

…...............

Mukuro Rokudo had fit into the couple life quite well. He'd waltz home after a busy day of being bothered by Ken and Chikusa, and awaiting him was his lovely uke, serving up a plate of dinner. Often, the mist guardian would creep up behind the brown haired Vongola, and startle him with a surprise hug.

"Mukuro-Sama!" Blushed Tsunayoshi, his feminine eyes staring at the said person. Bending down so that they were the same height, Mukuro inched closer, before drawing in to a soft kiss, therefore making Tsuna a new shade of red. The purple-haired man didn't care for the mafia, they sickened him. However, Tsunayoshi-kun was most definitely an exception.

"Tuna fish, Tuna fish, Tuna fish! Eat up, because you're going to need all the strength you can get, I plan to take over your body in more ways than one tonight" Winked Mukuro, Releasing his arms from the innocent Tsuna, and sitting at the dinner table.

…

After their romantic meal for two, Tsuna would do the washing up, whilst Mukuro either watched him intently, planned the night's next bedroom adventures -Hey, he was a mist guardian, he took sex to a whole new level- or 'tried' to help out.

The times when Mukuro did help however, either resulted in smashed plates, half washed glasses, a water fight, or the two of them making out (Tsuna often ending up falling into the sink). Hence why Tsunayoshi often came prepared with armbands nowadays.

However, there was a slight problem for Mukuro that particular night. Tsuna had said nothing about it at the table, he remained pretty calm washing up. But the minute things led to the bedroom... Tsunayoshi burst out laughing. At first, Mukuro's reaction was to nervously laugh along, pretending he didn't miss the joke, whenever his Tsuna-kun had said it. After a while though, he got a bit paranoid, did he look OK? Sure, his little uke's laughing face was so super cute, but why was he laughing so much?

20 minutes later, Mukuro was led silently in bed, beside his finally calming down from laughter partner. Sniggering, the Vongola boss turned to his beloved mist guardian, and came clean. "Earlier, Gokudera-kun and I went shopping, for groceries. We went out of town looking for some really nice high quality meat for our meal I prepared, and, well, Gokudera stumbled upon these..." Tsuna then reached under the bed to pull out a brightly coloured packaging, with the words 'scary eye contacts' written in a Halloween-esque font. Mukuro glanced at the all too familiar contacts, bright red, with interchangeable kanji. Groaning, Mukuro facepalmed. He'd been uncovered as a fraud.


	2. everyone loves Tsuna

The second installment of my one shot cracks :D. Once again, I do not own, or the characters. This time is a bit different from the usual pairings ;)

…................

Gokudera walked in to his room after another troublesome day spent attempting to tutor that Extreme nut and that... Lambo. Since Recapping the day's events was headache worthy, he pulled out the latest issue of his favourite magazine from it's position of poking out from his trouser pocket, and led in bed getting stuck in to the fascinating mysteries of the world.

…

Yawning, he flung the magazine onto the floor, it must've been about 10, or even 11 by now. Everyone would be asleep, worn out from their hard days training. "Juudaime!" exclaimed Hayato, realizing he had barely spoken to his beloved boss all day! Jumping to his feet, he decided to apologize immediately... then he remembered that it was indeed very, very late. Sighing, he vowed to put all his heart into his sorries in the morning.

He couldn't sleep, the thought of Tsuna feeling neglected by his right hand man was constantly playing on the bomber's mind. Tossing and turning, he was about to give up, when he remembered something that would set his mind at ease. Sitting up straight in his bed, he lifted up his pillow and pulled out a crisp A4 folder. Hugging it tightly, he shiftily checked his room for any spies, and began opening it.

"Haha Stupidera! I, Lambo the great have found you!" Said Lambo, jumping up onto the storm guardian' bed, and snatching the precious artifact from Hayato's clutches. "DAMN YOU LAMBO!" Yelled Gokudera, jumping from his bed and chasing after the infant. "GET YOUR OWN 27 SECRET PICTURES OF JUUDAIME!"

20 minutes later several explosions later, the bomber began to doubt Giannini's ability to guard this place, shouldn't someone be expecting the damages? What kind of a job are they doing to protect the tenth? Meanwhile, Lambo was on still on the run, still holding Gokudera's pictures captive.

"A HA" shouted Gokudera pouncing towards the currently-at-a-stand-still Lambo, though, effectively, he landed head first on the floor, as Lambo had Jumped up on the table, clinging to Ryohei for protection.

"Giannini? Ryohei?.... WHAT THE HELL?! IF YOU TWO ARE IN HERE, HAVE YOU NOT EVEN NOTICED THE EXPLOSIONS?!" shouted Hayato, who continued rambling for quite a while. "Explosions?" queried Giannini, who had the same confused expression as the boxer sat beside him. "We've not seen any explosions!" continued Giannini, looking at the systema C.A.I expert oddly. "we were extremely busy setting up this!" said Ryohei, projecting his monitor on to the screen.

"Ryohei's Extreme web page: filled with Sawada's extreme best moments, caught extremely well on video" read Gokudera, not quite sure how to react to what he had uncovered. And, sure enough, the two had worked on producing a website jam packed with clips of the boss undressing, showering, fighting, eating,...the lot.

Eye twitching, Gokudera was speechless, He was sooo going to tell Tsuna, after of course, taking note of that URL, for future use. Then, once Lambo had gotten bored of his face pulling being ignored, he jumped off of Sasagawa, and ran through Gokudera's legs, taunting him further.

The Vongola base had been turned upside down by the time Lambo took his next stop, this time hiding behind a distracted Yamamoto. "Don't just stand there you baseball nut! Get Lambo!" ordered Gokudera, who unfortunately had no such luck in getting Takeshi to listen. "Hey Gokudera! Umm I'll help you out in two minutes, I'm a bit busy right now..." said Takeshi, not daring to take his eyes away from the iphone screen. "What could possibly be more important than getting my 27 pict- What on earth are you doing anyway?!" Yelled Hayato, not caring if he woke up the whole base. Pulling his usual smirk, Yamamoto tilted the screen so that his fellow guardian could see: 'Dress up Tsuna the iphone application' ..."Isn't it awesome? Spanner and Shoichi made it!" said the swordsman, clueless to Hayato's increasing annoyance.

Whilst Lambo was currently distracted, Gokudera quickly snatched his photos from the child's sticky clutches, and began walking towards Tsuna's room, adamant to rat on those perverts... and apologize for neglecting him, of course.

"Kufufu, Your illusions are getting better Chrome-chan, but add more blush!" commented a familiar voice, from inside Chrome's bedroom. Curious, Hayato peered round to see Tsuna, or rather Chrome stood in front of a spectating red eyed owl. "That's better, and pull a super cute uke pose too!" continued Mukuro, enjoying this.

Veins popping, Hayato walked on by, disgusted by the perverse nature of his fellow guardians, didn't they know that He was the tenth's right hand man? He, Hayato Gokudera, the one who first became friends with Tsuna, the one who has suffered many, many, many stomachaches due to Bianchi's appearances, should be the only openly tenth sexual guardian!

Gokudera burst into the 10h gen's bedroom, by then very very angry, only to be greeted with a very curious "Gokudera-kun?" for a greeting. "Juudaime! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for being to busy to talk to you today! I will make more of an effort to talk you every day from now on! And you'll never guess what I fou-" Hayato stopped in his tracks... only then did he notice his beloved boss wearing a very skimpy looking pink kimono... only then did he notice a very impatient looking Hibari who had refrained from his position of braiding Tsuna's hair and was now directly in front of the bomber, Tonfas at the ready.

"Wait your turn, or I'll bite you to death!" snapped the disciplinary committee member, before booting Hayato out of the room, and slamming the door. "Hayato, you have to queue up!" said a painfully familiar voice, groaning, Gokudera clung hold of his stomach, in immense pain. "Bianchi, you too?"


End file.
